balance. harumph.

***

It was yesterday afternoon, in the middle of a conversation with my mom, when I realized: I am failing at balance. Epically. 

We were walking and chatting, and I found myself telling her that I hadn't been writing at all lately--not a blog post, a journal entry...to say nothing of short stories or chapters. Since writing is such a big (well, ideally big) part of my life, to not be practicing it at all--and to say that out loud--gave me pause.

In the midst of a busy summer semester, I feel like my hair is on fire (a slow burn, but still there's smoke). And yet, I persist in avoiding the word "no." I don't say it to others. I don't say it to myself.  Not just not agreeing to things...but not inventing extra things for myself to do, at the expense of all that I want to do, the stuff that feeds my soul, that I usually "leave 'till last" or "get to when all my 'work' is done." These days, it seems like it's never done, because I like to fill needs. I "see" a need, I want to fill it. A good thing, I think, usually--the Sunday School needs a Christmas program organizer. A friend needs some company. A student needs extra help on a paper. A food bank needs donations. A mentee needs to talk.

***

As a very wise woman--a pioneer missionary in the Amazon jungle--once advised me: "the world is full of need, and if you try to meet it all, you'll go crazy!"


And, probably, feel defeated all the time. Or frustrated. Or thwarted. My plans always look so lovely and clear. (except for when I make them, forgetting OTHER plans that conflict, or not anticipating the something that will pop up and scramble things...) If my plans could ever actually be executed, I am convinced I could meet the needs of THE WORLD!!!

Or, maybe not. Maybe not much more than those I actually struggle to meet right now. I am really so, so small, and the universe is wide and wondrous. So, where can we find balance?

Well, I don't think there is a "magic formula" that I can recite, write or practice. I've already tried several--time "diets," new journaling schemes, new planners and ways to write in them.

Another wise woman I know--a colleague and friend in the office next door to mine--said to me once, "it's all about the little choices." And I feel the truth of that, more than I've ever felt truth in any one of my ten-step-balance-plans.

***

The older I get, the better I come to know myself. I know, for example, that I'm effusive and encouraging, ambitious and determined. I can be stoic, self-sacrificing, social, and very goal-oriented. I think that is why I expect to decide to be more balanced, and then look for a general "balanced" feeling to be swathed around my life like a soft blanket. Balance is a big word, one that I've obviously not mastered yet. And contrary to my expectations, it doesn't blanket my life. But "self" and "care" are littler words. So is "rest." So is "tea."

"Let" and "go."

It was a little choice to leave work a bit early yesterday, so I could work out with my mom. It was a little choice to let her take a commitment off my schedule for me. It was a little choice to hold my tongue when my pride wanted me to argue. To put away my planner. To make myself a cup of tea.

I do not think I will ever master this whole balance thing. Honestly, I'm too tired to try to "work on it" or "start a plan" to boost it any time soon. One thing I will say, though, is that I'm ready to make some little choices, to take small steps. I'm going to try to focus on the little words for now.

What about you? Do you feel balanced? How do you maintain balance in your life?

happy july!

image source

Hello, friends and happy July! I am back after an extended early-summer break:) Sorry to have left you hanging...we embarked our trip in a whirlwind, and right when we got back promptly got really sick. Twice.

But, now we are well and getting back into the swing of things. I just started teaching a couple summer classes, and Jake is clearing out his school studio, and we're both psyched to enjoy a slower summer pace. As I ease back into my little blog space, you might want to check out these fun links:

--Em from hiphipgingin posted this perfect list. (what do you think? I agree with everything on it!)

--Alli over at hooray posted about this sweet date night.

--I'm excited for these July Events.

...and wouldn't you love to throw (or attend) a backyard movie party? With the heat climbing in the daytime, it would be the perfect temperature for lounging at night!

What about you? Do you have any fun July plans?

Daydreamin'

Ok. So, I had this absurd notion that today: I thought I would write a "Theory Thursday" post (an idea I've been toying with), which really just means I was thinking I'd talk a bit more nerdily about what it is I do all day (ahem, teach writing to college students).

But, today is not that day, my friends.

No, today is not that day.

It is hundreds of degrees here in the Mitten. I have had a long week. I would like to just stop thinking now, if that's alright. Which is why I propose that today be a day for daydreamin' baby!

I propose we all stare at some clouds...

Maybe muse about cashing in our Roth IRAs and moving to a tropical isle...

...and once we're there, let's find a hammock and lay down. Wait, not just any hammock...it's so flippin' hot, we're gonna need a hammock in the water!

If all else fails, we can just play some ReRe and stare at the picture of the hammock. That might be enough to soothe my heat-wave-baked mind. Whaddya say?

mitten love

check out these awesome Mitten-accoutrements....

Mitten pillow! (spied by brideblu)

Cool, folksy tees (found on amanda jane's blog)

the best pizza I've had in years

Yesterday we had a lovely day in the D. (city of Detroit, for those not "in the know"...) We headed into the city because I had a lunch-y, chatty meeting with my new cohort at WSU. We had a fantastic "family style" potluck lunch, with some delicious lentil salad, veggies and fruit, and chocolate brownies with peanut butter frosting. I'd say we're off to a great start! Meeting my cohort was wonderful--we joked and ate good food and chatted about the coming fall a bit. I think we will have fun working together:)

After our lunch meeting, Jake and I met up with some friends who live in Woodbridge.



We sat on the front porch of Neal and Jamica's house with and Matt, and basically lazily talked the afternoon away. I had a cold brew in my hand and good company.

 we snacked on my leftover potluck offerings and soaked up the sun as it glimmered through the trees. I felt like it was finally summer. I felt really relaxed.

Later, we walked up to the Motor City Brewing Works for dinner. Excuse me, we walked up there for the best pizza I've had in years. Crispy, warm, savory, delish. It had a brick-oven smokey-ness to it, and it was thin, more "New York" style than "Chicago" deep dish.

What about you? Do you prefer the NY or CHI style pizza? What is the best pizza you ever ate? Tell me the story!